While I’m here getting ready for my next trip to NY (second to last class!) I’ve been thinking back on how I got here. So I’d like to share a personal story with you today.
I realized at some point in college that I had issues with depression and anxiety, and that I had been dealing with (or more properly, ignoring) these problems for many years. I was frequently irritable, impatient and would get angry at myself and others at the drop of a hat, or the drop of anything. Little things, like stubbing my toe, dropping a book, would enrage me.
College had its rough points. There were definitely great times, but there was definitely stress. And stress kept me from eating, sick to stomach at the thought of food. My anxiety caused digestive problems all day every day. It didn’t help that I was already skinny. So if I didn’t eat because my stomach hurt, people assumed anorexia. If I ate and got sick from stomach pains, they assumed bulimia.
After school things only got worse. Eventually I started seeing a doctor and taking antidepressants. Only then did I truly realize how far off track I had gotten, how unhappy I had been, and for how long. So I took this time to work on myself. I didn’t want to stay on medication forever, and I did not like the side effects. I started meditation and became Buddhist. The big key mentally was learning positive self-talk. For most of my life I was self-critical and would find anything to complain about. I forced myself to turn around negative comments into positive, day in and day out. Eventually the positive comments came out first.
And just because I knew I should, I started eating better. Then eventually I came off my medication (with my doctor’s support of course). I still had my bad days, and one day was pretty bad. And I was SO HUNGRY. So I stopped and got a burger. And within 15 minutes I felt great. Then I realized, my blood sugar affects my mood!
So I started working on my diet. I cut out white sugar and processed flours. Started feeling better. Greatly increased my vegetable intake. And I’ve been doing this for over a year now. I have to say, I feel happier and healthier than ever before. If I don’t eat right, I feel it. And that keeps me on track. I don’t want to go back to where I was. And I know that I’m the only one who can keep me on the right path. But I also know that I can help others. So I write here, and I have Natural Zest.
And hopefully I can help someone else remember happiness.
